japanese gets angry if I say they are...

[untmdsprt]

Hrmm. There must be different types of people out there.

Here in Japan many people ask where I'm from and say that I "look European/English". I say they're correct but I'm a US citizen. They get confused...

Some people will just be easily offended :p

Never heard that one before. Other than then accent, I can't think of any differences.

[summersprite]

Sometimes even framing the question "What's your nationality" is hard! At least that's the feeling I get in America, where many Asian Americans have lived here for a long time, some for many generations. So when you ask someone like that "What's your nationality?" it seems to imply that you don't think they're American. Although I guess it's not as bad as the question "Where are you REALLY from?":lol:

Has anyone found a good way to ask a person's origin without making them feel like they don't belong?

[untmdsprt]

I had that happen to me recently on Skype. The person demanded I tell him my country of origin, and wouldn't accept USA as an answer.

I guess he assumed everyone automatically immigrated there instead of actually being born there.

[Javizy]

Sometimes even framing the question "What's your nationality" is hard! At least that's the feeling I get in America, where many Asian Americans have lived here for a long time, some for many generations. So when you ask someone like that "What's your nationality?" it seems to imply that you don't think they're American. Although I guess it's not as bad as the question "Where are you REALLY from?":lol:

Has anyone found a good way to ask a person's origin without making them feel like they don't belong?

Nationality is an issue of birth, so the generations born in America are American. I think what you want to know is their ethnicity, which seems easier to approach than the word 'race', but still not easy to ask about, I guess.

[QuackingShoe]

Even more, nationality often more strictly refer to whatever country has power of you, so even permanent residents may be considered to have that countries nationaliy. So yeah... asking for that would be pretty offensive and heavily imply they aren't American.

Ethnicity doesn't necessarily work either, though, because it's often understood now to refer to groups that you identify with, and doesn't have anything to do with biology or (real) history. For instance, I ethnically identify as a White American, and nothing more than that. But you know that much without asking. If you wanted to know that my family is English/German/Irish, which is something that I don't actually identify with now, you'd need to ask me about my family.

So I'd recommend family, or just saying screw it and ask about race. If people really want to be offended, there's no stopping them anyway.

(Aside: untmdsprt, consider that the person you were speaking to may have actually been trying to figure out your ancestry and just couldn't figure out a decent way to ask, possibly due to language misunderstandings. He may not have been making such a silly conclusion as you think ^^)

[SpamMusubi]

Try being Nikkei. My grandparents were from Japan, but my parents and I were born and raised in Hawaii, which has its own problems with being "part of the U.S." People from the rest of the U.S. ask me where I'm from, and about half the time, don't even accept the fact that I'm American. They follow up with, "No, where are you REALLY from?" and won't accept the fact that I'm not actually from Japan (been there a lot, speak passable Japanese, good accent, but no, not from Japan).

In Europe, it's assumed I'm Chinese, until I open my American mouth and speak American English.... then it's "Where did you learn English?"

In Japan, they're just puzzled as to why this apparently Japanese looking person either acts like a gaijin, or at least a clueless Japanese. I often preface any question with "sumimasen, watashi ha nikkeijin desu ga....." and that seems to help.

So, while I generally agree that it's better to ask (I prefer being asked than for people to guess), I also wish people would believe my answer.

[untmdsprt]

(Aside: untmdsprt, consider that the person you were speaking to may have actually been trying to figure out your ancestry and just couldn't figure out a decent way to ask, possibly due to language misunderstandings. He may not have been making such a silly conclusion as you think ^^)

I'd like to figure out my ancestry!! I'm adopted and the state of Missouri will not open the records for any reason so I can contact my birth parents. So tecnhically I have no ancestry to speak of, and can make my own traditions. Although I'm a white American, I probably identify more with Native Americans more than any European peoples.

I can assume that some countries have never heard of the idea of "adoption."

[RebelDogg]

I've had a similar problem. I'm always wanting to test out my Japanese, but there are very few Japanese in my area. Most asians are either Vietnamese or Chinese around here.

I thought I was safe in Japanese restaurants...

Most of the servers (and even the sushi chefs) are Chinese. I've since stopped trying out my Japanese until I hear them speaking to each other or if I know they are definitely Japanese!

[untmdsprt]

I've had a similar problem. I'm always wanting to test out my Japanese, but there are very few Japanese in my area. Most asians are either Vietnamese or Chinese around here.

I thought I was safe in Japanese restaurants...

Most of the servers (and even the sushi chefs) are Chinese. I've since stopped trying out my Japanese until I hear them speaking to each other or if I know they are definitely Japanese!

I had that problem when I lived in Nashville. I did find one sushi place where the people were actually Japanese. Most of the time though the only Japanese people were families living near Nashville and on assignment at the local Nissan plant. I did try to go to all the Japanese parties that were advertised though.

[RebelDogg]

...I did try to go to all the Japanese parties that were advertised though.

Japanese parties? Advertised? Tell me more. I've never heard of such a thing. Or do you mean parties organized by Japanese people in the area? Like from the plant?

Because a Japanese party sounds like a killer idea. A bunch of white people dressed like samurai talking about anime & manga and throwing around Japanese phrases... wait... do you mean comic-con?

[untmdsprt]

Most of the parties were for the workers and families from the Nissan plant. Since they were only here temporarily, many of them didn't care to make friends with local Americans.

Other parties were at the local universities that either had a large Japanese population, or taught Japanese as a foreign language. The latter is mainly what I went to.

[japchinman12]

I find a lot of the time I can tell the differance between Japanese, Chinese, and Korean people. sometimes its when there's men who are japanese/ CHinese that are dark that I sometimes mix up. Usually I meet someone for the first time and I Think they are japanese, I will start by talking in japanese, If they say sorry I'm Chinese, or I'm Korean then I will just start to speak in that language. Even if you know just a basic greeting in the language generally the person you are speaking with will be surprised and aprreciate it especially if your not asain! So I have found to be the case!