Start Learning Japanese in the next 30 Seconds with
a Free Lifetime Account

Or sign up using Facebook

Getting busted for cheating

Moderators: Moderator Team, Admin Team

Bueller_007
Expert on Something
Posts: 960
Joined: April 24th, 2006 8:29 am

Postby Bueller_007 » December 10th, 2006 5:19 am

metablue wrote:We're all influenced by things outside our control. Being influenced by shame is no different than wanting to have a nicer house and more beautiful wife than our friends. Being human isn't pretty.

Yeah, no doubt... But the Ruth Benedict "Chrysanthemum and The Sword" theory is that Western people are controlled internally by their own guilt complex (I believe she ties this in to Christianity and the need to confess one's sins), whereas the Japanese are controlled externally by fear of shame or stigma.

So according to her, we have a conscience, and they don't.

metablue
Expert on Something
Posts: 249
Joined: April 24th, 2006 5:18 am

Postby metablue » December 10th, 2006 7:55 pm

I wouldn't interpret being heavily influenced by external shame as lacking a conscience. More like looking at the effects of your actions in the context of your social group.

Couldn't it just be that not shaming your family is an important part of being a good, moral person in some societies.

Get 45% OFF at [[Site]]
CrazySwayzee
Been Around a Bit
Posts: 35
Joined: August 18th, 2006 9:58 pm

Postby CrazySwayzee » December 11th, 2006 1:29 am

Husbands tend to get away with cheating because:

A) Japanese people have the belief that "if it feels good, then it is good" so sex is okay because it feels good. as long as it happens behind closed doors, it's fine to them.

B) many Japanese women are prostitutes simply because they want some extra change with which to buy whatever women like to buy (clothes,bags, etc.)

C) Women don 't have the courage to divorce as it would embarrass them and the woman would be literally rejected by Japanese society. kind of like how people are afraid of people who are different.

Japan isn't immoral, it just has the lack of foundation of morals that country's like America and Europeans have had with religion;Christianity, Islam, Judaism and the like.

if you think Japan is immoral, did you know that if a Man in Pakistan rapes a woman, then that woman has commited a crime and that she would be hanged unless three witness admit they saw the rape happen?
Image

Bueller_007
Expert on Something
Posts: 960
Joined: April 24th, 2006 8:29 am

Postby Bueller_007 » December 11th, 2006 8:12 am

metablue wrote:I wouldn't interpret being heavily influenced by external shame as lacking a conscience. More like looking at the effects of your actions in the context of your social group.

Couldn't it just be that not shaming your family is an important part of being a good, moral person in some societies.

These are her words, not mine.

She says the reason that Western people confess their sins is that sins are a burden on their conscience, and they need to repent. According to her, the last thing a Japanese person wants to do is confess their sins, because if the evil deed is completely internalized, there is no shame because nobody knows about it, and therefore, there is no problem.

She doesn't say that guilt and shame are two conflicting factors that drive Japanese behavior, she flat out says that Japanese people don't feel guilt. To me, that quite strongly implies that she believes that Japanese people have no moral compass of their own.

Again, I strongly point out that I think this is a stupid point of view, as I don't think that shame and guilt have to be mutually exclusive. Just because shame is more of a factor in Japanese society than in the West (and it is, I don't doubt that) doesn't mean that Japanese people don't also feel guilt for their actions. If they didn't understand the concept of "guilt", they wouldn't have a word for it (やましい). And likewise, we wouldn't have one for "shame".

Ulver_684
Expert on Something
Posts: 869
Joined: July 19th, 2006 6:31 pm

Re: Getting busted for cheating

Postby Ulver_684 » November 29th, 2007 9:09 pm

Bueller_007 wrote:There was an interesting TV show about this the other night. I'd not heard of it before then.

When Japanese people catch their spouse cheating on them, they have the "right" to ask the 3rd person for 慰謝料 (isharyou)--money to compensate for their psychological damage, loss of face, damage to their marriage, etc.

http://www.keiyakusho.net/isharyou.html

This isn't handled in the courts, but just between the cheater and the person who was cheated on.

The amount usually ranges from 500,000 yen (~$5,000) to 3,000,000 yen (~$30,000).


Bueller_007-san! :wink:

Thank you for a very interesting topic, that's why I don't believe in marrige and I will never get marry period! :lol:

Fedgrub
Expert on Something
Posts: 191
Joined: June 30th, 2007 3:10 am

Postby Fedgrub » December 1st, 2007 5:36 am

I need to see this show! haha

Return to “General Japanese Culture”